THE KING
OF HOLLYWOOD
FADE IN:
We see a stylishly dressed young man
about 32 years old sitting at a desk covered with framed photos in a dimly lit
office. A phone, computer and several
stacks of papers and files complete the scene.
The young man, Eugene Hummel, is talking on the phone. He is very animated and a little loud. He appears to be closing a deal regarding a
movie. Names like “Bobby DeNiro”,
“Julia”, “Soderbergh” and “Alan Ball” are being mentioned. Amounts like “a Hundred Mill” and terms like
“Options” and “European Distribution Rights” enter the conversation.
Suddenly the door opens and lights
come on.
Cue music – “Always Look on the
Bright Side of Life”
The room is dingier than we first
assumed. We notice that the computer is
just an unplugged monitor, the phone is not wired to the wall and the photos
are of Hollywood personalities with cutout pictures of Eugene scotch taped to
them – a crude attempt to insert himself into the picture.
Flo Hummel: Eugene, honey! Dinner time.
Eugene: Maaaaaaaaa! I told you not to bother me without knocking
first. I was in the middle of a big
deal!
Flo: Yes, dear, I’m
sorry. Now come on, it’s your favorite -
Franks and Beans.
Eugene rises and walks to the door
still complaining. His mother smiles
indulgently.
Eugene stops suddenly.
Eugene: Franks and Beans …
Franks … Frank … Frank Stallone! I have
just the part for him!
Eugene rushes up the stairs.
Roll Credits
A montage of sights and sounds. Southern California. L.A.
Hollywood. South Central
L.A. West Hollywood.
We see several scenes depicting
Eugene’s life. It is as unexciting as
you could imagine.
Eugene works as a bag boy at the
local “Pig in a Poke” supermarket in West Hollywood. He’s not very good at it. He has to wear a white shirt, black tie and
pants as part of his “Pig in a Poke” uniform. His boss, Rahj, (a pimply kid of
about 19) constantly criticizes him about the quality of his work. According to Rahj, Eugene's shirt is never white
enough and his tie is never tied well enough.
Eugene has no friends. Whenever he is not in his “office” brokering
deals or writing scripts, he is watching TV.
Sometimes he sits with his mother in the dark watching old movies or
entertainment news on E!. Other
times he is alone, watching videotapes he rents from the supermarket at an
employee’s discount.
Whenever “Dad” gets mentioned,
Eugene’s mother cuts off the conversation and changes the subject to more
“pleasant and pleasing topics”.
One day, while taking out the trash
at the supermarket, Eugene notices a cell phone laying on the ground next to
the dumpster. He looks around. Surreptitiously, he picks up the cell phone
and slips it into his pants pocket.
Eugene can’t wait for work to be
over. The second that the clock hits 5
pm, he tears off his apron, punches out, grabs his jacket, and flies out the
door.
He grabs a bus at the corner of
North Sweetzer and Route 2. As he sits
on the bus, a physical change seems to come over him. His normal slouch is gone. He takes off his tie and stuffs it into his
jacket pocket. As the bus turns onto
Fountain, he begins to whistle. He fixes
his collar. He puts on dark glasses. A left onto Vine. He appears more confident. Self assured.
The bus stops at the corner of Hollywood & Vine. A very much different Eugene gets off and
strides up the boulevard. He snaps open
the cell phone and begins talking.
Halfway up the block, a pretty,
blonde woman who was window-shopping, makes a sharp turn and bumps into Eugene
knocking the cell phone out of his hand.
Eugene quickly bends over to pick it up.
He holds it to his ear.
Elaine: Oh, I'm so sorry.
Please … (she continues to apologize)
Eugene: Hello … Hello …
Bob?? Hello …
Elaine: It’s all my
fault. I’ve always been clumsy. Was it important? …
Eugene: Whoa. It’s OK.
Bob will understand. (Holds phone
to ear and shakes it) But this phone is
in trouble.
Elaine: I'm so sorry. Was this important? Who’s Bob?
Eugene: Zemeckis. And yeah, it was. But you know Bob. He’ll be OK about it.
Elaine gives a blank stare at the
name.
Eugene: Bob Zemeckis … Robert
Zemeckis … Back to the Future … Roger Rabbit … Forrest Gump … Cast Away?
Elaine: Is he an actor?
Eugene: No. A director. He directed all of those movies. He's one of the really important men in
Hollywood.
Elaine: In the
movies!!! And you know him?
Eugene: Yeah. Among others.
Elaine: Oh. Among others.
You must be pretty important.
Eugene: Well, I work
hard. Bring talent to light. Scripts - actors. Get movies “greenlighted”. You know.
Elaine: Well, I won’t
bother you anymore. Once again - sorry.
Elaine turns to leave.
Eugene: Wait. I’ll call Bob later. And the rest of my afternoon is open. So … do you want to get a cappuccino, or
something?
Elaine : (turning
back) I’d love to. If you’re sure …
Eugene: C’mon.
Elaine: Just a sec. I now know Bob Zemeckis, but do you have a
name?
Eugene: Sorry. I’m Eugene Hummel, the King of Hollywood.
They laugh.
Elaine: Very nice to meet
you, King Eugene. I’m Elaine Karpinski.
They shake hands, smiling.
They go to a small café near Argyle
Ave. As they sip their cappuccino,
Elaine opens up to Eugene. She tells him
that she just arrived in Hollywood a week ago from Kansas with her brother,
Duane. A twister destroyed their
family’s farm, so they decided to head west to make a new start. Duane was going to start an auto repair shop,
and Elaine was going to help with the start-up money by working in commercials. Eugene is extremely taken with her.
They talk until dark. Elaine notices the time and tells Eugene that
she has to leave. Duane will be waiting
to pick her up. Eugene offers to walk
her back. She accepts with a smile.
They walk back to the corner of
Hollywood & Vine. A young man is
standing next to a ten year old Toyota.
It’s Duane. Elaine waves – he
waves back. She thanks Eugene for a very
nice time and begins walking toward Duane.
Eugene: Elaine! Wait a sec.
Elaine stops and turns.
Elaine: Yes?
She begins to walk back toward him.
Eugene: Funny thing. Y’see, I just realized that I have a couple
free hours around lunchtime tomorrow.
And I was wondering …
Elaine: You were wondering …
what?
Eugene: Would you have lunch
with me tomorrow?
Elaine: Lunch? Why …
Eugene: C’mon, you’ll love
it. I know this nice little place – on
Sunset near Schrader. How about it? Meet me there? Noon?
Elaine smiles and gives Eugene a
kiss on the cheek. She turns and walks
toward the car. She stops and looks
back.
Elaine: See you tomorrow. Noon.
She gets in the Toyota with Duane
and they drive off into the night.
Eugene stands there for a moment.
A big smile spreads across his face.
He turns and, whistling, heads down Vine Street.
Eugene and Elaine see each other
every day for the next week. Eugene is
walking on air. They are getting closer
and closer. Eugene is in love. But at the end of every date, Duane and his
beat-up Toyota are waiting.
Eugene wants to get to know Duane
better. He talks about this to
Elaine. He wants to calm any fears that
Duane may have about his sister’s welfare with Eugene. One night Eugene makes arrangements to have a
drink with Duane. They meet in a small
bar off Melrose. They exchange
pleasantries for a few minutes. An
awkward silence ensues.
Eugene: Well, Duane, how’s
the repair shop coming?
Duane: Oh, fine … ah, shit
… it’s not going at all.
Eugene: What do you mean?
Duane: Everything is far
more expensive out here than we imagined.
Elaine hasn’t been able to catch any commercial work. And now Mom …
Eugene: Mom?
Duane: Yeah. She’s back in Kansas with Aunt Minnie. She needs an operation. We sent all the money we had … but …
Eugene: Are you guys going
to be OK?
Duane: I don’t know. We’re living hand to mouth right now. I’m picking up some odd jobs … anything to
earn a buck. If only Elaine could catch
a break … She’s got real talent, you know.
Eugene: She can act?
Duane: She’s
wonderful. All the leads in the school
plays … local TV … studied it for a while in college. But Hell, I guess you gotta know someone out
here to catch a break.
Eugene thinks for a moment.
Eugene: Duane, she does know
somebody out here.
Duane: Who?
Eugene: Me!
Duane: Oh no. I couldn’t ask you to … it’s not right … such
an imposition …
Eugene: Nonsense. I’d be glad to. C’mon … you need connections … I’ve got
connections. Let me do this. Listen, if she’s as good as you say, this
will make me money. What do you say?
Duane sits silently. Moments pass.
Duane: OK. As long as it’s not an imposition.
Eugene: Done deal, my friend
… done deal.
Eugene goes home. He’s frantic.
How can he help her? How can he
help the woman he loves? He paces the
floor of his “office”. Hours pass. He sits down behind his desk. Soon, he falls asleep in his desk chair.
He wakes up the next morning. He pulled pages of “Variety” over him in lieu
of a blanket. As he takes them off, he
notices an article - “Thornton to Direct ‘My Eyes Denied You’ for
Miramax”. He reads the article. It says that Billy Bob Thornton wants a
fresh, new face to play the role of Melissa, the youngest daughter - a blonde,
with a smile like sunshine and a soul in pain.
Eugene immediately knows that it must be Elaine in that part.
Eugene still sees Elaine every
day. But during the other times, he
starts to stalk Billy Bob Thornton.
By sheer luck, Eugene is near Billy
Bob when a car jumps the curb and heads straight for him. Eugene pulls Thornton out of the way and from
that point forward, Eugene becomes Thornton’s “Lucky Charm”. Eugene now has access to Billy Bob Thornton.
Because of his relationship with
Elaine and his obsession with Thornton, Eugene has no time to go to work. One day he stops in to get his paycheck, and
Rahj stops him before he gets outside.
Rahj is livid. He screams at
Eugene. He is firing him and letting
everyone hear. He is telling Eugene
exactly what he thinks of him.
Eugene calmly picks Rahj up and
throws him into the end display of Scott Toilet Tissue. Eugene walks up to Rahj.
Eugene: Have a nice
day. And remember, “If high prices make
you choke, shop Pig in a Poke”.
Eugene leaves.
Time is running out. He heard from Duane that their mother needs
another operation. In Thornton’s office,
Eugene confronts Billy Bob directly about casting Elaine as Melissa in the new
film. Thornton laughs.
Thornton: Excuse me. An unknown … in a sure fire Oscar nominating
role … where the fuck did you get that idea.
I’m going to cast Angelina in it.
What a fuckin’ kidder you are.
Eugene: I’m not kidding. I read it in “Variety”. She’ll be perfect. You have to give Elaine that role. It’s her.
She’s blonde. She’s got the
smile. The pain.
During his dialogue, Eugene closes
on Thornton, ending up in his face.
Thornton: You, my boy, are a
certified nut-job. (call to the
bodyguard outside the door) Ralphie! Get
in here.
Ralphie: (entering) Yeah, boss?
Thornton: Escort
this asshole the fuck off the premises.
He’s outstayed his welcome.
Eugene is frantic. As Ralphie approaches, Eugene grabs the gun
from Ralphie’s holster and, with a deft maneuver, smashes it into Ralphie’s
temple – knocking him unconscious.
Eugene then turns to Thornton.
Eugene: Now as I was saying
…
Eugene swings the gun at Thornton’s
head.
Thornton awakes in a small warehouse. He is alone - tied to a chair sitting under a
naked bulb hanging down from the ceiling.
Duct tape covers his mouth. He
struggles. It’s no use.
Eugene meets with Elaine at the
small café where it all began. He tells
her he has gotten her an audition with Billy Bob Thornton for the part of
Melissa in “My Eyes Denied You”. He
tells her that it is a great role – a sure Oscar nominating part. Elaine can’t believe it. It’s too good to be true. How can she ever thank Eugene? Eugene smiles. He tells her to meet him at the South Gate of
Exposition Park at 8 that night with Duane.
They’ll drive to the audition from there. Elaine leaves Eugene sitting at the table
smiling.
Eugene is waiting directly in front
of the South Gate. He is pacing and looking
at his watch. Duane and Elaine drive up
at 8 sharp. He gets in the car and
directs them for 5 minutes to a row of old warehouses on a side street. They get out of the car.
Elaine: Is this safe?
Duane: I wouldn’t come here
in the daytime, no less after 8 at night.
Eugene: Relax. Billy Bob is scouting locations. Don’t worry.
Safe as houses.
Eugene leads them into the third
warehouse on the left. He opens the
door. They follow him down a short
hallway and into an open room. There
they see Thornton tied to a chair in the center of the room.
Duane: What the fuck???
Elaine: Are you out of your
fucking mind?
Eugene: (confused) What … ?
Duane: Oh, shit. We gotta get out of here! This is kidnapping. Federal shit!
Oh, damn it!
Duane starts pacing around the room,
muttering.
Elaine goes up to Eugene, who is
very confused.
Elaine: Are you crazy!! He’s tied up!
I really doubt he’s going to consider me for the part under these
conditions! You asshole!
Eugene: But Elaine … I love
you … I did this all for you … Duane told me about your Mom’s operation … how
you guys were living hand to mouth …
Elaine: But that was only
supposed to get you to give us money!!
Or line me up with legitimate parts through your contacts. That was the plan!
Eugene: I … don’t
understand.
Elaine: You silly, stupid
shit. It was a scam. Now do you understand? Duane and I are from Hollywood, not
Kansas. There is no sick mother, no farm
destroyed by a twister. In fact, Duane
isn’t my brother … he’s my husband!
Eugene sinks slowly to the
floor. Duane comes up to Elaine.
Duane: C’mon, baby. Let’s get the fuck out of here. We’ll do this again with someone else. But we can’t get caught here. We’ll do time as accessories or something.
They walk toward the door. Duane exits, but Elaine stops and looks back.
Elaine: Tell me something,
Eugene. Really. Do you have any contacts? Are you successful, at all? Come on ... tell me. Or are you just a full blown psycho loser?
Eugene stares blankly at the
floor. He slowly looks up and stares at Elaine.
Eugene: My name is Eugene
Hummel. I’m 32 years old and I live with
my mother. I work at the “Pig in a
Poke”. I have no friends … And while you
may think I am a loser, there once was a time – for a very brief instant - I
really was the King of Hollywood.
Elaine: Schmuck.
She exits. Eugene and Billy Bob are alone. Billy Bob bangs his feet on the ground. Eugene doesn’t move. Billy Bob keeps at it. Eventually, Eugene looks up.
Thornton: (jerking his head)
MMMMPH. MMMPH.
Eugene rises, walks to Thornton and
pulls the duct tape off his mouth.
Eugene: Better?
Thornton: MMMM. Wow.
Much. Thanks.
Eugene: I’m really sorry.
Thornton: Boy, what the fuck
were you thinking?
Eugene: She had this
incredible smile … and I believed everything she said.
Thornton: You know they’re
going to call the police from the first payphone they see.
Eugene: You think?
Thornton: Oh, come on,
Lucky. They fuckin’ hosed you good. And now they’re going to cover their own
asses. Jesus, boy. Wake up and smell the coffee.
Eugene: I really stepped in
it, huh?
Thornton: Stepped, sat, laid
down and rubbed it in your hair.
Sirens. Approaching fast. Getting louder.
Eugene: (noticing the
sirens) They’re here…
Thornton: And so are we.
They fall silent.
Police outside(bullhorn): You in the
warehouse! Let the hostage go and
surrender!
Thornton: What are you going
to do?
Eugene: I don’t know.
They fall silent again. Only
the police talking on the bullhorn is heard.
Thornton: (after a while) Can you give me a cigarette? I really need one.
Eugene: Sure. Where are they?
Thornton: Coat pocket. Right side.
Police outside(bullhorn): You have five
minutes to respond. Then we will
consider the hostage dead and we will come in. In force. Five
minutes. Starting NOW!
Eugene takes two cigarettes from the
pack. He looks at Billy Bob who
nods. Eugene puts one in Billy Bob’s
mouth and one in his own. Eugene lights
both of them.
Thornton: You giving up? Or fighting it out?
Eugene: Fight it out? With what?
Eugene remembers and looks down at
the gun in his belt.
Eugene: Oh, yeah. I forgot.
Thornton: What about me? Will you at least push me off to the side
when they storm this place?
Eugene: Oh, sorry.
Eugene unties Billy Bob.
Eugene: Not much point to
this now, huh?
Billy Bob stands up and
stretches. Suddenly he throws a punch –
catching Eugene on the chin. Eugene
reels backwards.
Thornton: No hard feelings,
Pal. That was just payback for the
office. My head still hurts like a
bitch.
Eugene: (rubbing his
chin) None taken.
Billy Bob points to himself and then
the door. Eugene nods. Billy Bob walks to the door and turns back to
Eugene.
Thornton: Shit, I kinda like
you. C’mon, any chance you’ll give
yourself up? Walk out of here with me?
Eugene sadly shakes his head.
Eugene: Go on. Get out of here. You have movies to make.
Billy Bob gives a wave, turns and
walks out.
Thornton(O.S.): I’m coming out! I am the hostage! Don’t shoot!
I’m coming out!
Eugene takes the cigarette from his
mouth and looks at it.
Eugene: And my Mom told me
that these would kill me.
Eugene flicks the cigarette away in
a high arc toward the corner. It lands
near a 55 gallon drum that is leaking.
The liquid surrounds the smoldering cigarette butt. It ignites the liquid. The drum explodes knocking Eugene off his
feet. The warehouse erupts into flames.
Eugene gets up. The only exit is blocked by the flames. He frantically looks around and sees a metal
ladder bolted to the wall – access to the roof.
He rushes to the ladder and begins to climb. Higher and higher. He reaches the access hatch to the roof. It’s not locked! The flames are close behind him. He opens the hatch and bursts through to the
roof.
Smoke is coming out of the vents on
the roof. There are large searchlights
shining on the building. Eugene runs
left, then right. The vents erupt in
flames. The fire is consuming the roof.
Eugene climbs on top of an air
conditioning duct near the edge of the roof.
The flames are all around him, licking at him. A helicopter from channel 9 news circles the
roof. They are filming him. He raises his arms to the sky and shouts …
Eugene: Made it, Ma! Top of the world!
Eugene leaps off the roof of the
warehouse – arms spread like the wings of an angel.
He immediately lands in the safety
fencing erected around the roof a few feet below the edge. It was installed to save people who
accidentally fall off.
Eugene, still in the angel position,
closes his eyes and begins to cry softly, as the fire hoses spray the roof and
extinguish the flames.
Cue music – “Always Look on the
Bright Side of Life”
FADE OUT:
Roll Closing Credits